How to Master Your Fate: A Deep Dive into Adler's Teleology

Introduction: Breaking the Chains of the Past to Live in the Now

Have you ever thought, “I am the way I am because of my parents,” or “If only that incident hadn’t happened, my life would be different”? We often attribute our current unhappiness or difficulties to past events or environments. According to Etiology, championed by the renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud, current results are determined by past causes. Much like a machine that needs its broken parts fixed to function again, this view suggests our minds must heal past traumas for our present to improve.

However, Alfred Adler shakes his head firmly at this notion. “No, you are not unhappy because of your past. You have chosen to be unhappy to achieve a certain purpose.”

This statement can feel shocking, perhaps even harsh. Did I choose my own unhappiness? But if you understand Teleology, the core of Adlerian psychology, you will realize this is not an accusation but a blessing that grants us infinite ‘freedom’ and ‘courage.’ Today, I invite you into that world of freedom.

1. Etiology vs. Teleology: Not “Why,” but “For What Purpose”

We are accustomed to the world of cause and effect: “There is a cause, so there is a result.” For instance, “I have a passive personality (result) because I wasn’t loved by my parents as a child (cause).” This is Etiology. Etiology often leads to a sense of powerlessness because we cannot change the past, and thus, we feel we cannot change the present. It keeps us replaying past hurts like a broken record.

In contrast, Adler’s Teleology flips time on its head. It views current actions as determined not by past causes but by future purposes. Adler might say, “You became passive to achieve the purpose of ‘not getting hurt in relationships with others’.”

In other words, to achieve the goal of not getting hurt, you chose the means of having a ‘passive personality.’ Why is this important? Because while causes cannot be changed, purposes can always be altered. If you set a new purpose—“I want to experience joy in interacting with others, even if I might get hurt”—you can ‘choose’ an active personality at any moment. Teleology pulls us out of the victim’s seat of the past and establishes us as proactive agents of the present.

2. Emotions are Tools: Even Anger Has a Purpose

We often think we are swept away by emotions—that we shout because we are angry, or do nothing because we are sad. However, Adler argues that emotions are merely tools used to achieve a purpose.

Let’s look at an example. A waiter at a restaurant accidentally spills water on your clothes. You instantly get angry and shout, “Watch what you’re doing!” You likely believe you shouted because you were angry (cause). But from a teleological perspective, the order is reversed. You brought out the tool of ‘anger’ to achieve the purpose of ‘showing my authority to the waiter and making him submit to me.’

What if someone you had a crush on was sitting next to you? Or if the waiter looked incredibly intimidating? You might have taken a different attitude instead of getting angry. This is clear evidence that emotions do not control us; rather, we ‘use’ emotions according to our purposes. We often use anger to manipulate others. Recognizing this allows us to become masters of our emotions rather than slaves to them. We can control ourselves, thinking, “I don’t need to get angry; I can explain with words.”

3. Trauma Does Not Exist

One of the most controversial yet fascinating arguments in Adlerian psychology is that “trauma does not exist.” This does not deny that terrible events happened in the past. It rejects the idea that those events determine your present self.

“No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead, we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.”

What matters is not ‘what happened,’ but ‘how you interpret it.’ Two people can grow up in the same abusive environment; one might become a criminal, while the other becomes a philanthropist. We cannot change past events, but the meaning we assign to them is entirely up to us. Whether you write your past as a ‘history of unhappiness that ruined me’ or ‘fertilizer for growth that made me stronger’ is your choice alone.

4. Lifestyle: Rewrite Your Worldview

Adler used the term Lifestyle instead of personality or temperament. This refers to ‘the system of giving meaning to the world and oneself.’ Simply put, it’s like the glasses through which you see the world.

A person with a Lifestyle that says, “The world is dangerous,” “People are enemies,” or “I am insignificant,” will choose to hide in their shell. Conversely, someone with a Lifestyle that says, “The world is positive,” “People are my comrades,” or “I am valuable,” will choose to challenge themselves and cooperate.

The crucial point is that this Lifestyle is not innate but something you chose for yourself around the age of 10. What does it mean that you chose it? It means you can choose again, right now. If you are unhappy now, it is because you judge that maintaining an ‘unhappy state’ is comfortable (purpose) and are clinging to your old Lifestyle. If you want to change, you only need the courage to choose a new Lifestyle.

5. The Courage to Change: Live Here and Now

Teleology is ultimately a psychology of courage. It is the courage to stop blaming the past, the environment, or others, and to shoulder the heavy responsibility that “my life is what I have chosen.”

Many people like to live in ‘possibility,’ saying, “If only I had gone to a better university,” or “If only my parents had supported me more.” They use excuses to avoid reality. But Adler says, “The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.”

What you need is not ability, but courage. The courage to accept yourself as you are and move forward. The courage to be disliked, the courage to be ordinary, and the courage to be happy.

The past is gone, and the future has not yet arrived. The only time we can live is ‘here and now.’ Etiology ties us to the past, but Teleology makes us the protagonists of the ‘here and now.’ You are not a victim of the past. You are the author, the protagonist, and the director of the story of your life.

Pick up your pen. And start writing your story anew from today. Remember, in every action you take, there is a noble purpose you have assigned to it yourself.

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