Attachment Style: Where Has Your Heart Anchored Itself?

Perhaps even as adults, we are still learning how to love through the memories of childhood. British psychologist John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory proposes that the way we form emotional bonds with others is shaped by a kind of internal “map” — one drawn during our earliest relationships with primary caregivers.

1. Discover Your Attachment Style

Try the attachment style assessment below. Four core questions will help you identify your relational patterns.

2. A Guide to the Three Major Attachment Styles

1. Secure (Secure): Views both self and others positively. Embraces intimacy naturally, handles conflict without fear, and maintains a healthy sense of independence.
2. Anxious (Anxious-Preoccupied): Views self negatively, others positively. Highly sensitive to rejection; constantly seeks reassurance out of fear that the relationship will fall apart.
3. Avoidant (Dismissive-Avoidant): Views self positively, others negatively. Experiences closeness as a threat to independence; when conflict arises, tends to emotionally shut down and withdraw.

Knowing your patterns is where change begins. Use the test above to look more honestly at how you connect with others — and take that understanding into your everyday relationships.